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I am indeed back from New York, and not a moment too soon. We got about six inches of snow today in Chicago, and last time I looked out the window, it was still coming down. Wouldn't want to be in an airport today! I did, however, have to drive all over creation in the rapidly flowing snow today, which was not very enjoyable. I'm not a superb driver to begin with, and I don't have a ton of experience with driving in snow having lived and worked in the city for the past three years. This winter will be different, since I have to drive quite a lot each day.

As for New York, it was....disappointing. Not my performances at the auditions, just the general feeling I got from the whole thing. I sang well for Seattle on Friday, but at the back of my mind, ever since my CC audition (abbreviation used to protect myself), I've been feeling like a "dime a dozen" soprano. Back up, I don't think I talked about my CC audition on here. Well, short story is, I heard three women before me start with the exact same I aria I usually start with. So I was faced with the choice of going in there and singing it AGAIN or changing up my plan. Thing is, Norina's aria is a great starter, it shows legato and plenty of coloratura, a billion high Cs, and fun acting. So, I can understand why everyone with my voice type likes to start with it. I finally decided to go in and start with Deh vieni, which is not showy but a great piece for exposing the true beauty of the voice and legato, plus a couple of low notes in there to show the evenness of ranges. The CC people (who are known for being complete jerks) talked through my entire aria, then didn't ask for anything else. Granted, they were only hearing one piece from everyone due to time constraints, but the whole thing left me feeling cold and irritated. I took the time to come down and audition for you, atleast flipping LOOK at me while I'm singing!

So, back to New York. I couldn't shake the feeling, hard as I tried, and as much as I listened to Natasha B. I sang fine, but maybe my heart just wasn't in it enough, I don't know. I found out Saturday night that I didn't get called back for Seattle, which then threw me into another funk for Chautauqua on Sunday. Again, sang fine, but I got the idea that the auditioners were completely bored with what I was doing. I just don't know how to make myself stand out, short of taking my top off at the audition (can I do that? -- most of the people are gay men anyway, so it wouldn't do much good). I have a great voice, I'm immaculately prepared, and I have some charisma -- unfortunately there's about a billion people with that exact same resume vying for very few positions.

I came back to Chicago feeling frustrated and down. Besides spending quality time with Andrea, Robert, and an old friend from high school, I felt like I'd accomplished very little. I slept until noon on Monday, got up and moped around in my robe, then begrudgingly headed out to teach and go to rehearsal for Music of the Baroque. Today again, slept late, moped, then decided to go get a pedicure. While getting pedicure and reading Oprah magazine, I came across a very inspirational article about failure. The author was promoting the idea that failure is actually success, because trial and error is actually the best way to learn to do anything well. That was all I needed to turn my attitude around. I have four fantastic gigs coming up, I have singing work until next April, and that is a very awesome thing, more than most singers can say. I decided that for the rest of December, I'm going to concentrate on the singing work I DO have, and not think about arias and YAP auditions. I will enjoy the holidays and my holiday gigs and spending time with family and doing Chicago Christmas-y things.

So, if you'd like to hear me rock out on Rejoice Greatly (plus act as core of soprano section for all chorus parts, god help me) with chamber orchestra, here are the deets:

Handel's Messiah at Trinity United Methodist Church
1024 Lake Avenue, Wilmette
Sunday, December 9th at 10:30 am.

Come see what all those stupid f**ing opera companies are missing!