So, I wrote this long rambly post yesterday and then my stupid computer lost its internet connection (as it is wont to do these days) and BOOM, post gone. Sadness. Mostly for me, because it was not at all entertaining or fun to read. Maybe the universe was telling me that it was a cathartic exercise only and not meant for other people to read.

To sum things up, I've been having emotional/career crisis number 23093094834 this week, which seems to be pretty normal at this time of year, if my previous two years of blogging are any indication. I have two fairly major auditions this weekend (one is in four hours), for neither of which I feel very prepared, nor do I have an excuse for being unprepared. I'm going to keep that last great audition in mind as I head downtown today. If I can just pull that off again, I'll feel good. Lately I've just been realizing how much I WANT to be performing, not teaching. I've just gotten so jaded about the business, so convinced that hard work doesn't necessarily equal success, that I've forgotten how much I love it. To perform music at a very high level with amazing colleagues and friends -- that is what I love. So I guess I'm going to try to do more of that, whatever it takes.

And thank HEAVEN, I get to do just that for the next two weeks!!! I leave for OFY Fall tour on Sunday!!!! While I'll be very sad to be away from Nick for a week (I miss him when we're apart for 8 hrs, cheesy, I know), I'm thrilled to be back on tour. I was going through the show in my living room yesterday with my iPod (if anyone was looking in the windows they probably thought I was insane) and I found I'm REALLY really excited to do it again. I love (almost all) of the OFY cast, so I can't wait to reunite. The only downside -- the tour is in northern Wisconsin/Duluth area. It might snow. So I bought a really cute Columbia insulated fleece at Nordstrom Rack this week, because I just don't think giant down comforter coat is ready to make an appearance yet. Duluth Super 8, here I come!

So that's my life these days. Life is so confusing sometimes. Thank God for the people that love me, even through my craziness and mental breakdowns and uncertainty. Those people are what are most important, as I remind myself continuously every day.