come se dice...Midwestern?

My parents are leaving on a two week trip to Italy next week. They are not, shall we say, the most well-traveled people on the planet, but my dad won a trip to Rome through his work and they decided to do it. They are staying an extra week to go to Florence and Venice as well. Neither of them have ever left the country, save for Mexico and Canada, and while both are educated, intelligent people, they aren't terribly knowledgable of foreign cultures. Mom is freaking out. There are few things you should know about Mom and Dad before we continue:

1. Mom despises flying. She has anxiety attacks and needs atleast three Xanax to get across the country, which probably means five to six for a trip across the ocean.

2. Dad is one of the pickiest eaters on the planet. He hates: mushrooms, all nuts, most seafood, many vegetables, and generally anything that is foreign to him.

3. Mom is a extreme worrier.

I've had multiple phone conversations with Mom, attempting to convince her that no, they will not be robbed upon setting foot into Rome, yes, the trains will stop long enough for them to get off, and yes, people will probably speak atleast a little English...and so on and so forth. When we went to Disney World when I was a kid, Mom read several books that instructed her when to go to which rides and shows in order to avoid crowds, to "queue left" because most people naturally go to the right when they get in line. So you get an idea what sort of traveler she is. She likes to plan ahead and plan for every possible disaster, which anyone who has traveled abroad knows is a bit difficult. Apparently she tried calling to book a tour the other day, and the man who answered spoke very little English. She said that she told him she had e-mailed to book the tour a week ago and hadn't heard anything, and he just kept saying "Wait" over and over.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall during their trip. Undoubtedly, these two Midwestern kids from Indianapolis will have some hilarious times. I am so excited for them, finally getting out and seeing the world, but I'd also give anything to see how they get along in a foreign land. While they were here this weekend, Mom went to the mall to buy money belts for them to wear under their clothes and some sort of purse with steel handles that a potential robber couldn't cut through. Every possible disaster.