Saturday, August 18, 2007

a Saturday morning post

Ah, Saturday morning. I'm participating in my Saturday morning ritual: sleeping 'til eleven, watching the Food network, and drinking coffee while waiting for Nick to come home from work. He works half-days every other Saturday, which is annoying, but usually I sleep so late it's only an hour or two after I wake up that he comes home. I must admit though, I enjoy the alone time. I've always been one who treasures her alone time.

Tonight is the opening of the show. Yesterday was our final dress rehearsal/"Senior Preview" -- so basically a performance for about a thousand elderly people. I thought it went pretty splendidly, considering that Thursday night there were some messy costume and wig changes that resulted in people not getting onstage in time, which were remedied yesterday. The director(s) -- there seem to be about eighteen directors in this show; we get a "note" about every other second from someone or other -- immediately shot down my good feelings about the show during the hour long notes session afterward. I know they are trying to make the show better for us, but a compliment every once in awhile would be nice. We've all been busting our asses onstage for six weeks now, and I haven't heard the words "you're doing a good job" muttered once. It's pretty disheartening.

Other than that, yesterday was a lovely day. I slept until 9:00 am, went to the bank and gym, then headed to the theater for the rehearsal/performance. We were released at five, and then some of us proceeded to Chili's for $3 margaritas. I can't knock Chili's anymore -- getting tipsy for $6 is unheard of! I really do enjoy some of the people in the cast; they're a good bunch. I'll have some pics to post soon -- you've got to see my wigs, they are pretty freaking fabulous!

And lastly, I made a decision last week. After the understudy rehearsal on Tuesday, I became inspired. I NEED to be singing, it makes me feel happy and complete, and I am going to go full throttle this fall and make my career happen. I know that singing and teaching singing is what I was put on this earth to do. I'm going to quit temping. I'm going to try to make it work as a singer and voice teacher ONLY. I'm going to ask for help if I need it. But having a full time "day" job is getting me nowhere; in fact, I feel like I'm regressing every day I'm there. I'm not going to let this Masters degree go to waste. Cliche as it may sound -- WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY. I have my will back. I decided that I will temp until Labor Day, and then I'm going to force myself to get creative and make things happen. Nothing happens while I'm editing or filing documents in a law office. I will perhaps take the occasional week-long temp job in order to make a little money, but screw this full-time permanent position crap. It's over.

So here's what I say to you, readers: Make something happen. Do what you want. Be irresponsible if necessary. Because this is all we get, and it's too short to waste it in an office that you hate. Maybe you think I'm naive and stupid for saying so, but I'm willing to take this risk. I'm willing to give up some of the ridiculous material things that this country and its marketing schemes insist that I need. I'm ready to make things happen. WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY.

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