me vs. the insomnia

Unfortunetely, my ongoing battle with insomnia ensues. Last night was particularly awful, so awful in fact, that I broke down sobbing this morning and couldn't go through with my voice lesson. I can hardly stand up I'm so exhausted, let alone do something as rigorous as classical singing. If this is what it is like when you have a baby and are up all hours of the night, I will already know what it's like when the time comes. I think I can officially call this problem "chronic", or so they say on WebMD, if your insomnia goes on for a month or more. I attribute this to one or all of the following causes:

1. Stress over auditions. Auditions leave you raw and tired. You're putting yourself out there, and more often than not, you get rejected. Imagine going on blind date after blind date and having the person tell you you're not for them over and over and over...it's kind of like that. And I've been on over twelve auditions in the past two months.

2. Stress and anxiety over the current separation (of an ocean) between me and my boyfriend.

3. Stress at school. School is usually not terribly stressful, but lately it's been a tad difficult to juggle everything I have going on at the same time.

4. Poor diet. I haven't been the best about eating healthy lately. At some point I realized I can eat whatever I want and stay skinny, thereby exempting me from eating healthy foods. Also I can't seem to find the time to cook anything, or I just feel too lazy, and ordering Pad Thai from next door is so much easier and yummier.

5. Poor sleeping habits. Since I have a studio apartment, I spend most of my relaxation time in my bed. I often eat, study, watch TV, talk on the phone, and do various other things in my bed. I am also guilty of eating close to bedtime.

6. Added stress over the possibility of getting addicted to sleep aids. My doctor has assured me that this won't happen, but I keep reading horrible things online about the side effects of these drugs.

Today, I decided to make some changes. My doctor had discussed herbal remedies, but until today I hadn't given any of them a try. So, I journeyed over to Whole Foods and bought the following:

1. Valarian Root. It comes in this little dropper and apparently I put some drops in my tea at night and it works like a sleep aid. Only it's totally herbal. I'm going to try it tonight; I'll let you know how it goes.

2. Bedtime Tea and Kava Stress Reliever Tea.

3. Lavendar aromatherapy foaming bath crystals

When I got home from Whole Foods, I feng shui-ed (sp?) my entire apartment...meaning I moved all the furniture around. I'm not entirely sure what feng shui means, and I'm pretty sure you have to do more detailed research about where to put your bed and stuff, but I felt that moving it to a different wall would achieve the desired result. Then I walked two blocks to Affordable Portables, where I bought a futon and one of those Chinese screen thingies, so I can atleast create the appearance of having a bedroom in my tiny apartment. The futon will be delivered on Thursday, and I'm elated. This means that I will no longer spend a large portion of the day on my bed, and that I will actually have a sort of "living room" space in my apartment. After moving all that furniture, I took a long bath and sipped some of the Kava Tea. I am feeling better already.

So it was a rather expensive day, and my credit card got a rigorous workout, but I can't think of a better investment than my health and well-being. And I must say, the apartment is looking fabulous...so here's to a good night's sleep.