Apparently, I'm eighty-four.

Last night as I was waiting in line at Walgreens, a large jug of prune juice and a bottle of Benefiber tucked securely under my arm, it dawned on me that I may be a an eighty-four year old living in a twenty-four year old's body. My digestive tract certainly thinks it's eighty-four, hence the prune juice and Benefiber. (Sidenote: no matter how backed up, NEVER buy prune juice. It was a complete waste of $4.49, because it's so incredibly disgusting that one whiff of it made me gag.) While I was waiting in line, Nick was playing with Family Guy pens that talked, intermittently coming up to me and pushing said pen over and over so that I could hear Quagmire say "Are you a parking ticket, because you're FINE", or something like that. Actually I don't think that's the right wording, because it doesn't really make sense, but I can't remember because I really wasn't listening. You get the point. Then this morning I woke up with an extremely stiff and sore neck/shoulder, either from jaw clenching or sleeping wrong, I'm not sure, and that confirmed it. My body thinks it's an elderly woman. I really want to be in bed with a heating pad, watching the food network all day, but instead I'm here at work, making binders and booking manicures for real estate executives.
Hopefully this elderly-ness will pass soon, since it's beginning to get on my nerves. The, ahem, irregularity, I can deal with to an extent, since (as anyone who has traveled with me can attest) I've had some experiences with it and am pretty good at consuming more fiber in one day than most people get in a week. The neck really gets me though, because I've been back in the running groove lately and loving it. Oh well, it's a good excuse to sit around and watch TV all night I suppose. Oh wait, I do that anyway.