You may be wondering, since I claim to be pursuing a classical singing career, why I haven't written anything about singing for several weeks. Well, there is a simple answer to that: I haven't been singing. I had all of these grandiose ideas about "designing my own summer program" and "taking lots of lessons" and "learning on my own time." After last year's rather intense summer of singing in Austria, followed by a harrowing year, I didn't really have the energy to make anything significant happen this summer. Sure, I went on a few auditions for summer young artist programs, but y'all in the business know how fruitful going on three (3) auditions turns out. In this biz, you have to do probably upwards of twenty-five (25) auditions if you want a prayer of acutally getting a "yes" out of a company. Things I actually did this summer:

Career related:
Activity: Signed up for a Feldenkreis class at Victory Gardens theater ($160)
What really went down: Napped on the floor for two hours every Saturday for eight weeks, attended 5/8 classes.

Activity: practicing/learning new music
What really went down: had a panic attack every time I sang, got Xanax and Paxil

Activity: take lessons/coachings, make audition CD
What really went down: lessons taken (3), coachings taken (1), too poor to continue

Personal well-being related:
Activity: work as office temp/save money
What really went down: who am I kidding? making $400 a week temping barely allows me to pay my bills and have any semblance of a social life. monies saved: $-32

Activity: relax and do fun Chicago things with my boyfriend
What really went down: now this I think I can acutally report some success in doing: re: free evening at the Art Institute, new restaurants such as Frontera Grill, beach time, First Fridays at MCA, LP Zoo, LP Botanical Gardens, lots of movies and general walking around

Activity: figure out what I want to do with my life
What really went down: lots of great (free) sessions with my shrink (God bless NU insurance), may be slightly closer to finding the answer

So, I think what this all is telling me is that, although I did not accomplish much in the career department this summer, I did accomplish something on the inner-self front. And all things considered, my psychotic, one-minded-ness toward my career only ended in disaster last year, so I think that I can consider it a successful summer. Also I have a few weeks of it left, hence a few weeks of working left, and I may actually be able to come out on top in the finance department. Now I'm off to see my shrink, who rocks my world on a weekly basis. Again, GOD BLESS Northwestern insurance and free counseling.

Kisses,
MP