I'm ready for my close-up

This movie is coming out in a couple of weeks:



starring yours truly as a woman in a black pants suit and black pumps who walks in front of a guitar store that Will Ferrell is inside. Ok, you're probably confused right now and wondering why I haven't mentioned before that I'm a famous movie star....well, it's probably because I'm not. Let me take you back to June 2005. Andrea and I had just spent the previous year whoring ourselves out for any possible chance of getting paid to be on stage, sing, act, or dance (in my case "dance"). One evening while perusing Performink, we saw a call for submissions to be an extra in a movie being shot downtown. Oddly, the address for the submissions was just a few blocks down from our apartment. So, one day while I was temping, Andrea walked our submissions down the street (and stalked the building a little bit).

Fast forward to a few weeks later. Andrea and I both get called to be extras! We were elated. The only downside was that we were not called on the same day. We were both instructed to bring five different outfits of varying styles and to show up at 6:30 (ugh) am. We were not told how long the day would be, but our compensation was roughly $10/hr. Worth it, we thought, for a chance to be an extra in a movie with big names.

Boy were we wrong. I showed up at the prescribed hour of 6:30 am (on a Saturday, nonetheless) and waited in a dingy room with the other extras for a couple of hours. There were donuts and muffins, which I guess was cool. I wasn't too hungry since it was so early, so I didn't each much, which would soon prove to be a fatal mistake. We were then instructed to show our "wardrobe" choices to the costume people, who would then decide which "costume" we would be wearing for the shoot. Of course, they chose the most uncomfortable outfit I brought, my black pants suit that was purchased post break-up when I was in a freakishly skinny state but that I still somehow managed to squeeze into, a white blouse, and black pumps. Then we waited some more.

Finally, we were taken out to the "set", where we waited some more. It was a fairly warm June day, not exceedingly hot, but warm. Too warm for a black pants suit. By this time, it was about 11:00 am, and my stomach was starting to rumble. After some more waiting, we were placed into positions for the shot. Basically, we were spaced out evenly on the sidewalk, given shopping bags or purses, and told to walk straight ahead. We would do this for a few minutes, and then they would yell "CUT", and we would go back to our positions and do it over. And over. And over. Often with long periods of standing and waiting between the shots. By this time, my feet hurt, and I was starving and sweaty. It went on like this until about 2:30 pm, when we they finally decided to feed us.

The lunch was the high point of the day. "For the Stars" catering put out a fabulous buffet of gourmet food, and we extras snarfed it up like we hadn't seen food in ages. Then it was back out to the set. For more walking. And waiting. Around 6:30 pm they told us we could leave, and I hobbled home and swore never to be an extra again.

In short, the day was not too enjoyable. I did get to glimpse Will Ferrell through a glass window, but that was about it. On the upside, I met some interesting people, scored a free gourmet lunch, and made $80. And I got off much easier than Andrea: her day took place in a dingy hospital on the south side and didn't finish until 3 am. But she got to meet Queen Latifah and Emma Thompson, so I think that redeemed the experience for her.

The moral of the story: being an extra is not glamorous. If I actually make it on screen, that will be another story. I will milk that for all it's worth -- so go see Stranger than Fiction and look for a tall brunette in a black pants suit looking grumpy, sweaty, and hungry. That's me.