why?

Why is the grass always greener? Last August, when I quit temping, I was the happiest girl on the planet. And I must admit, it was a very good fall/holiday season, and despite money woes, I was pretty happy with the direction my career was headed. I'm still happy, opportunities are still popping up, but I've just been wishing it were... a little different. I drive WAY too much. I work weird hours. I don't like dealing with the parents of some of my students. And the money situation has not been improving as much as I'd hoped. I keep reminding myself that I'm singing and teaching singing for a living, which is basically my dream career, but sometimes I still wonder if I'm cut out for this lifestyle. I'm a homebody at heart, and I like being at home in the evenings with Nick, something that my current jobs don't allow. I like seeing my friends, something that never happens these days. I, like most humans, like comfort and security, something that my jobs don't really offer. I'd really really love a couple of paid vacation or sick days--unheard of! My recent trip to Wisconsin with OFY basically counted as a "vacation" as far as my other jobs are concerned, even though I was working my ass off the entire week. I'd give anything to be able to go with Nick to Greece in a few weeks, but I just don't think it's in the cards, unless I want to get fired and lose students.

Anyway, that's on my mind today. I know some of you singer friends will be annoyed but I beg you to consider the pros of your current situation. Lord knows I'm trying to focus on mine. And maybe someday I'll find that dream job that allows me to teach during the day and be home in the evenings save for when I'm rehearsing for some gig or other (can you say, Adjunct Professor of Voice at some small college near a large metropolis? Now that is my real dream job!) I've also been seriously considering going back to school for a Speech Pathology Masters and getting a job with an ENT who specializes in voice care. Ever since my voice issues in 2005, I've been really interested in helping people with voice problems, especially singers. And I think I could provide a really valuable psychological element -- because that's the hardest part for most singers recovering from an injury. Just thoughts at this point, but I could see myself being happy doing that. And sometimes I think I'd be happy living in Greece and having some babies and not really doing anything! It makes me feel good to look at all the options laid out before me -- they're endless, really.

Ah, Monday. You are a cruel mistress.